January 9, 2011 · 6:27 pm

Extra day, extra work?

I went to the farm an extra day this week and worked in a different part. The twelve year old that trained me and a different fourteen year old were running the big barn where Deb had asked me to help out. Whereas the barn I do on Mondays only has four animals directly associated with it and a couple indirectly associated, this is the barn where all the ponies, the other horses, the mules, the llamas, the emus and a zillion goats live. These two girls had their routine down pat and every time I asked if I could help, I got a sing-song “Nah, I’ve got it” back.

Well, that’s not completely true; I did get to sweep off some mats. For those uninitiated in this task, there are rubber mats in the stalls that are usually underneath the food trough or close by. Horses are messy eaters and and they’ll eat the leftovers off the ground, so it’s necessary to sweep the mats to prevent them from eating sawdust and straw. At least, I think that’s the purpose of the mats. I’ve never actually asked. Another thing about sweeping the mats? It’s a total ocd nightmare! Little pieces of riffraff creep back on them no matter matter how much time you spend sweeping them off. Lacking the ability to just walk away, I can be found going over them with growing intensity until I finally stalk off, forcing myself not to look back and see a determined piece of straw triumphantly take back its spot. Because Lunar knows how much I love this task, she likes to follow me into her pen when she see the broom. While I sweep her mat, she kicks the sawdust right back where I’ve just swept it off. Big giant piles of it! I sweep it off. She kicks it on. I sweep it off. She kicks i-Arrrggghh!

I also offered to take the pee blankets out to hang on the fence. When I asked if I could help, I think that the girl bringing them out of the barn was worried that I might complain about getting dirty. Perhaps my coat is deceiving. I’ve certainly been spotted as an intruder on more than one occasion (many times by the same volunteer) and I’m pretty sure it’s because of how I’m dressed. My coat is a black, hooded, squall jacket that goes down past my knees and keeps me super warm and still looks new though I’ve had it for a while. All the other volunteers wear sweatshirts or ratty clothes. What they don’t realize about my coat is that it’s my “pet sitting jacket”. This means that it’s been a home to all sorts of animal fluids. Too much? Needless to say, handling a bunch of filthy blankets was no problem for me.

While I stood around the rest of the time, being useless, I took the opportunity to take some photos and videos. And away we go!

Out back, I watched for a while as the ponies horsed around (ha!). The whole lot of them kept running back and forth. Some were whinnying and kicking and the rest were running just to stay out of the way. Whenever I’ve passed through the area, they’re just stand there chomping on things, so this was an interesting deviation.

The lineage of ponies is as follows: there is a male, the little tan one, who has a daughter and a grandson in the barn. And then there’s another mare who little tan guy mated with that produced a daughter and they’re also in the barn. I’m not sure which of his relatives made him so angry though because they all look alike. At one point, I watched him back the biggest one into a corner and kick like crazy. Though it may have looked like his young successor had the upper-hand in the video, don’t be fooled. Grandpa can hold his own!

Here are the llamas. Watching them. In the exact same spot. With the exact same dazed look. The entire time. I love it!!

Look at the mug on this guy! Ooh, his ears are pinned back at me! I’m pretty sure we’ll be friends someday. Hopefully.

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Emus are strange, strange creatures.

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Just a smidge of info on this photo: to the left of the emu is a door made up of plastic sheets that are big and awkward and sort of need to be shoved through. These flaps hit him every time a goat or person goes in or out.

Grooming time! Goats lick their feet like cats do. This fact makes me happy.

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As dinnertime draws near, many of the animals start wandering in. Due to the fact that there are about a million goats, they’re the most prevalent random shots of fur in this photo, but look closely and you can also see an emu and a pony. Maybe next time, I’ll get a photo that better represents the chaos, but I’ll have to stop spending all my time petting everyone first.

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January 7, 2011 · 3:45 pm

Another reason I dislike people so much:

This is a video of Shiloh. (You might need to turn your sound down and please ignore the poor quality.)

Before he came to the farm, he spent almost twenty four hours a day in a pen that wasn’t even big enough to turn around in. To cope with that, he developed this obsessive habit to calm himself down.

Even though he has copious room to roam at Winslow, a huge pen, people who love and care for him, and friends with whom to frolic, the stress of what he experienced lives on inside him. Nothing can wash away his past.

I watched him for at least ten minutes before I was called away.

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January 6, 2011 · 10:00 am

What birds? All I see are pine cones! PINE CONES!

Deb asked me to give Pandy a bit of exercise on Monday as she’d been cooped up in the house all day. Pandy is the one who’s smart enough to use pine cones as throw toys. I’m still impressed that she’s able to find the same one over and over again with all the others scattered about but I know, I know, dogs have an incredible sense of smell. Semantics.

It continues to amaze me that different species coexist so well at the farm. My cats, who have been domesticated since their start, get into fights every once in a while and I’ve seen what happens to mice when they make the mistake of entering our house. There are cats all over the farm, many of whom are feral, and yet I watch them saunter by a group of geese with barely a glance, let alone a hungry one. While Pandy and I played fetch, no less than three different kinds of birds (a lone goose, possibly a duck now that I think about it, the cranky swan and numerous roosters and hens) were all nearby. Plus, one of the many cats was hanging about demanding pets from me. No hackles were raised between the beautiful orange tabby and Pandy. And even though Pandy barreled past the birds a bunch of times in pursuit of the pine cone, never did any of the birds fly or run off. Pandy was completely oblivious to them. If anything, they were just in her way. And when she went clipping by, all they did was give her looks and continue about their business. Entertainment on all sorts of levels!

Here is lovely Pandy waiting for the pinecone:
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Little Miss Gentle retrieving the pine cone:
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It was hard to take pictures and throw the pine cone at the same time so this is the best shot I got showing the bird/dog perspective. But Pandy was much closer to all of the birds at different points.
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This picture was my favorite shot of the day. So ominous! And yet, no threat here. I love it!
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And just because this was so weird and funny, here’s a brief video of the swan walking back to his house. (And that’s happy little Cubbie coming to check out the scene. He’s super cute!)

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January 5, 2011 · 1:37 pm

R.I.P. Moonie

I arrived at the farm on Monday and was told that over Christmas, Moonie, the blind horse, had taken a turn for the worse. He’d had a tumor on his pulmonary artery for a long time and it was affecting him, causing him to repeatedly fall. The vet determined that his time had come.

I was so sad when I learned about him, especially since the blizzard last week had prevented me from leaving Connecticut and getting to the farm, but I was told that I would have missed him anyway.

Although I was still just getting to know Moonie, I knew that he was comfortable enough with me and my voice to come for food without prodding and accept my pets. I’m happy that I gave him a hug on the last day that I saw him.

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xoxo

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December 30, 2010 · 6:49 pm

Nonsensically, With Purpose

Last week, I went to the farm amidst a snowy sort of wonderland. Every time I get out of my car there, a calm washes over me. There are so many different species of creatures who live there and each animal has a different personality. I think that some would argue that the 5 white sheep who look exactly the same are basically that but I see their little idiosyncrasies. There are cranky ones like the loudly honking geese who rush at you until you (I) say something like “HI GEESE!!!” and then they veer off in the other direction honking “just kidding!” the whole way back. I love those geese. There are animals who can’t wait to greet me like Lunar and Napoleon; ones who are a bit apprehensive (I’m thinking mostly of the beautiful swan that you’ll see a picture of a bit later. He likes to shake his tail feathers if I get to close but I get closer each time!) and others that nod from afar (many of the sheep are like this until you have food in your hand. And then, watch out!). When I walk around greeting the happy folks at the farm, my excitement builds until it’s spilling over. It’s an interesting (and very real) challenge for me to contain my enthusiasm when I’m around the more apprehensive, standoffish or shy ones. My frenzied energy bubbles out of my mouth, my pitch climbs higher up the scale (an almost impossible feat), my volume gets louder and I start to flail around a bit. It’s hard to stop myself when all I want to do is give them giant hugs and squeal on the top of my lungs. Learning to control this is an important lesson that I am currently mastering.

The subject of how one talks to animals reminds me of a lesson I learned many years ago. Back in another life, I became certified as a preschool teacher. Because my bachelor’s degree was not in early education, I needed to take a few classes directly relating to the subject and although I don’t remember much of those hours, one concept has stood out over time. The word “motherese”, according to dictionary.com, means “the simplified and repetitive type of speech, with exaggerated intonation and rhythm, often used by adults when speaking to babies”. Essentially, it’s when you see an infant, your pitch goes up and you talk like a baby. According to the psychology behind it, it’s an instinctual reaction that mothers have to their babies. Among other benefits, it actually helps the baby learn language because the baby pays attention to the tone and therefore starts picking up words. It should be no stretch of the imagination then that animals respond to this voice. In fact, many animals nurture their young in a similar way. Cats are a one example of animals who use motherese n their young. And just to throw something weird out there to mull over, one of my cats, Tabitha, has become more vocal over the years and it’s in response to the way that I talk to her. When she “talks” back to me, she often matches my pitch and intensity like she’s mimicking my words. This was not something that she did as a kitten or a young cat.

So, while many people might come out with this voice sporadically, it’s probably pretty obvious that I have a tough time speaking in a normal voice when I see any animal, be it a mouse or an elephant. I can often be found loudly sing-songing to a random dog on the street while its owner looks on in disbelief. Don’t worry, it never stops me. And I say all sorts of weird things to animals that often make no sense. What fascinates me is how they gravitate toward my voice. If it’s a boisterous animal who has few inhibitions, this is no surprise. What excites me is when someone like Athena, the beautiful sheep I’ve been talking about, goes from a ready-to-bolt position to cocking her head and staying close by. In the past couple of weeks, she’s gone from skirting away from me to allowing me to put a food bowl down without running away to sniffing my hand multiple times. And the entire time I’m around her, I’m essentially chirping words of encouragement and letting whatever comes out flow free. like to think I’m comforting her and her behavior toward me seems to prove it. She stays close by and eats her food without looking scared. If I walk around to do my chores and cross her path, she’ll spook but as I continue to talk to her, she returns quickly to her activity. My hope is that our relationship will progress to the point that she will allow me to pet her but if that goal is never reached, I still know that we’re friends and I am happy with that.

Here are some photos that I love (I wasn’t using a flash so there are a couple of fuzzy spots):
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The swan shaking his tail feathers.

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Hanging out!

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I wish I had these prints in my back yard!

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Lunar on the left and Moonie on the right

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Beautiful, beautiful Athena

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Squee! Napoleon!!

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The Cat House (notice the goat?!)

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This is Lunar stealing hay that she discovered. Later she snuck into the pen when I left the door open. :)

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WATERFORD!!!

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Gulliver, in possibly the greatest photo ever!

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Moonie, all bundled up, eating from his special bucket. I lead his face to it and resist overwhelming him with hugs (especially at dinner time!).

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What the barn looks like at night without flash. So wonderful.

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Not sure it gets happier than this!

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December 7, 2010 · 6:21 pm

Farm Adventures

My volunteering slot at the farm is on Monday afternoons and I’ve been asked to take on the responsibilities in one of the barns. I spent last Monday and Tuesday afternoon being trained by a twelve year old one day and a fourteen year old the next. The farm is mostly populated by these dedicated kids who spend an average of three afternoons a week at the sanctuary. I envy the life experience these kids are building surrounded by so many different animals and the responsibilities in caring for them helmed by a truly dedicated and passionate person, Debra White, who owns and operates Winslow Farm Animal Sanctuary. I wish I had something like this when I was a kid, who knows where it would have led my passion for animals by this point.

In this particular barn, there are four main animals and a handful of barn cats. The two horses are named Moonie and Lunar; there’s a sheep named Athena and a large goat named Gulliver. Moonie is an elderly male horse who’s blind and Lunar is his sweet companion. I was told by Deb, that he’s a kicker when he’s being moody. Armed with this bit of info, I was a bit nervous when I first met him. Talking in gentle tones with him, I offered him my hand and moved slowly around him. Any time I passed by him, I made sure to vocalize and make gentle contact. He never flinched at my touch, so I was excited. Lunar is an energetic senior horse. At dinnertime, she’s food driven and very sweet even while she nibbles on your hands looking for food. She’s also one of the loudest eaters I’ve ever seen and bangs around her food bucket with gusto. Gulliver is pretty low key and likes his pen which makes him very easy.

And then there’s beautiful Athena with her dark grey body and head that almost looks likes she’s had her hair and makeup done. Athena was found living alone on an interstate median where she’d been for a long time. Attempts were made to catch her which she thwarted. She was finally caught and taken to the MSPCA where she met Gulliver and they were brought to the sanctuary. Athena does not trust humans. This is always hard for me as I’d like to be best friends with every animal. So, while Athena dodged any attempts at getting close, I continued to pursue her with soft speech.

Yesterday was my first solo run. Nervous and excited, I walked into the Barn all set to go and lo and behold, there was 400 pound Waterford the awesome giant pig relaxing in the stall.

(A brief explanation on how the pens are set up since it’s a bit confusing. The horse pen is a large circle. The barn is in the middle of the circle and if you’re looking at it from inside, it has six sections: Gulliver’s stall, a section where the doors to the barn open (this is Athena’s makeshift stall), a section where all the food is kept, behind Gulliver’s stall is the hay pen, then Moonie’s stall which exits out to the back (no doors, just strips of plastic to keep the heat in so that he’s able to go in and out safely), and then Lunar’s stall. Go through Moonie’s area out the back and there’s a special pen for Moonie and Lunar. It’s set up with a rope around it so that Moonie can feel his way. Pretty cool! Waterford’s pen and teeny house is adjacent to the whole area and has a gate so that he can be let into the bigger pen during the day and has access to this part of the barn.)

So, was I surprised to find Waterford in “Athena’s” section of the barn as he’s usually back in his pen when I’ve arrived. I have to say that there certainly is a difference between petting a giant pig over a fence and having him right next to me. Especially when he started bumping into me and chomping on my backside! I went off to find Deb for assistance on getting him in. I walked slowly with him across the pen keeping an eye on him when he got behind me. Deb had also mentioned at some point something to the effect of “he can break all my bones in one fell swoop but he’s a wonderful animal” so I was being careful of the bone-breakage while shooting the breeze. He’s very chatty! After I located her, she needed to free herself up, so I went back to sit with him. I hung out on the top of the fence and he chewed on my foot. He’s super cute and wow is he a big animal with giant teeth!

After he was back in his pen, I worked my way through my chores in the barn. I was still getting the hang of things and since Moonie came in to eat with zero prodding (!!!), I fed him first. I probably should have fed Lunar first since she started galloping around inside the stall right next to Moonie (uh, NOT big enough!) but I managed to get her food to her and Moonie didn’t seem to notice so I’ve learned something for next time. I was still riding on the high that Moonie was completely comfortable with my voice! But even more exciting was Athena. When I went to put her food down, she was comfortable enough to bring her face to the bowl while my hand was still attached. No bob and weave out of the barn. No waiting for me to move. So exciting! Now, maybe if someday I can just pet her…

Since I can’t bring my big camera on my cleaning shift, I used my phone to capture a few images. One of these days, I’ll go in the middle of the day to photograph my lovely friends.

In my last blog post, I mentioned that an emu looks like it’s swallowing a cat while it’s sleeping. Ta da:

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These roosters hang out all over the place. I tried to get closer and he kept scooting further away. Mission!

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I went into the other barn for a bit yesterday where most of the goats live. Wow, do I love the goats. This one was a bit apprehensive of me. I went to pet her and she moved. I finally got a hand on her and started to give her a massage and then stopped. She sidled closer. I continued the massage and stopped again. Sidled closer. And now we’re friends!

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THIS is Waterford!!! Isn’t he spectacular???

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And THIS is Napoleon. In love! I was so excited to meet him and I happened upon him in a pathway. I figured I’d maybe get a pet or two but what happened instead was that right as I went to pet him, he immediately flopped over and demanded belly rubs and made super awesome grunting noises of joy while I did it. I love him!!!

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November 22, 2010 · 9:06 pm

And I’m Back!

Over the last few months, we made the transition to Massachusetts which meant saying goodbye to my wonderful clients in Connecticut. Moving to a fresh town means not knowing anyone and the rebuild of clientele will take time.

In the meantime, my cats and I have had super four-on-one time. I never realized just how much my cats actually sleep. It’s unbelievable! One of my major activities is running up the stairs, singing at the top of my lungs forcing them out of their blissful sleep. I also enjoy clattering the dishes downstairs in the kitchen and watching as sleepy faces saunter into the room. Neither of these strategies do much good as they immediately leave the kitchen and go back upstairs or simply flop back down on the bed. Sometimes yelling, “Kitties! KITTIES!!!” brings Quinny to my side though, so that’s nice.

Today I ventured out to meet some new animals in the area. It was my first day as a volunteer at an animal sanctuary in a neighboring town. We visited last week and I knew the moment the farm came into my sites that I was destined to end up there. The cats that jumped the high fence to greet us confirmed this. In my fifteen or so minutes there, I met numerous cats who stayed close to me, a swan who was a bit wary, a border collie who’s discovered that pine cones make great throw toys, a pony and a mule who I admired through the fence plus all the others I could see from afar. I introduced myself to the wonderful woman who owns the farm and we made a date for today to start.

My big assignment was to shovel manure which isn’t the most exciting thing in the world but yes it is when you have a stream of visitors during it. There was a mini goat who was the fattest cutest thing ever and he scratched his head on my boots. He swung by a bunch. I was working near a corral and had visitors in horse, mule and pony form. And then there was the emu.

Last week in the car, I wasn’t really paying attention as we drove along and all of the sudden I spotted him. “Is that an emu? Where are we?” (I’d thought we were visiting the zoo first). Mr Emu, whose name will be included once I memorize all of them including his brother, is a rather interesting character who likes to peck at the rake when it has pine needles on it. He also made many plays at pecking me. Since I wasn’t sure how hard these might be, I danced a lot around him. I asked later if it can hurt and the answer was, “Yes.” But now that I know that, I’ll be prepared when I actually let him.

After I dumped the wheelbarrow on the big manure pile, I headed into the barn to help feed the gathered and now penned animals that I’d been interacting with plus a bunch of their friends. I helped out here and there and pet any goat who walked by, as the horses/ponies/mule were penned separately. And lots of little moments occurred, but there were really two things that stood out to me. First off, after some hay was put down, one of the emus plopped right down on it and fell asleep while goats munched on the hay near his head. This alone was fascinating, but the way that they sleep looks like they’re swallowing a cat. The neck puffs out in front and then the head is set back close to the body. It’s really bizarre and cool looking. I’ll take a photo if it happens again.

The other thing was when I was handed food for one of the horses, one of the goats head butted me so hard, I went right into the wall. Greatest moment ever.

Monday can’t come soon enough!

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July 14, 2010 · 4:26 pm

Maybe He’ll Start Barking

Quinny’s arrival into our house a year ago was not unlike a bat being released from hell. The residents were in turmoil as he persistently ran up to the door flailing around in front of the windows where everyone could see him. At first, there was a sheet up to block the view, but he quickly learned how to get around it. His next feat was tearing down the barrier and I gave up after he got it down a couple of times, telling Tabitha, in particular to “get over it”. She did just that by shaking her hind-quarters, hissing at him, rushing the door, and punching the window with all her might. Quinny was not perplexed by her prowess at all. He was raring to get through the glass at this cat who had obviously escaped from his birthplace at one point herself.

Quinny’s energy level has remained at an 11 since he got here. Plus, he’s got a black belt in instigating. He gets sprayed with the squirt bottle so often that just shaking it at him can usually get him to stop. “Get off of Tabitha!” “That’s not your plate!” “Stop running around like a maniac!” Get off of the counter!” “Leave that bug alone!” Matt taught him how to jump really really high with a laser pointer. This has backfired on us when it comes to bugs.

Quinny is not unlike a dog, actually. For one thing, he fetches like a champ and wants to stop long after we do. He’s smart enough to know that if you pretend to throw it that it’s still in your hand, but dumb enough to run headlong into a wall. Repeatedly. Piper learned to play after watching him, using bottle caps (his favorite toy) but he only does it rarely and usually never brings it back a second time.

Second, he’s toy possessive and growls or hisses at the cats if he has to walk by them. The cats sit there with this look that says, “I don’t want that nasty thing,” but Quinny knows deep down inside that they are just jealous. (They’re not.) We work on this behavior by taking the toy from him and handing it to the other cat while Quinny looks on, his eyes giant saucers of jealousy. Quinny can also be food aggressive at times and hisses when he’s really hungry and thinks his food is about to be eaten. This results in Tabitha not eating and losing weight so we ask him to stop and then set up a bowl for her away from it. When he first moved into the house, he’d eat his wet food as fast as he possibly could, which was shockingly fast, and then he’d run over to Milo or Tabitha’s plate and shove them out of the way. This took solid months of work to fix and weight that came off of Milo, as well. Months of carrying him out of the room. Holding him to let him know it’s not his food. Closing the bedroom door. He’s much better now.

More canine features? Quinny could find his way out of a paper bag by drooling a hole through it. Big giant balls of drool splash on my arm as he contently kneads at a blanket or a leg. Oh, did I mention that he humps things? Yep! That’s our little dog!

While he has wreaked the most havoc of all the furballs, he is also the most affectionate, creating an interesting dichotomy. Milo wants to be on laps at all times, especially if it’s nine hundred degrees outside, but he usually gets kicked off at some point for excessive licking or for getting mad if our faces get too close or we move wrong. Then he hisses and runs or swats and runs or bites and runs or all three. Quinny can be sitting randomly and all the sudden pop up, mewl and mewl and bump legs and then hop up and make a lap home. Milo looks on with envy as he doesn’t get kicked off. While Piper continues his standoffish trend, only seeking out affection when he wants it, usually at two in the morning during a bathroom run. Sometimes, he’ll even let me hold him and purr during this witching hour. Tabitha has watched him though and seen what affection can get her. She’s started jumping up to see what’s going on more. And allowing me hold her for brief periods of time. While purring! After watching Quinny, she’s decided that if she comes up to me and meows that I will pet her and hold her just long enough so that she doesn’t get antsy.

So the rest of them continue on their way, picking up little things from him here and there, being jumped on by him, being chased around the apartment, chasing back, running out of the way when the spray bottle is aimed at him, finding the spray bottle on them as well when they’re in cahoots and I get to sit back and watch the ebb and flow. And every morning, I look forward to the moment I open the bedroom door and Quinny darts onto the bed and does barrel rolls over and over and over and over while mewling his way through belly rubs and kisses.

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Here’s a video of Quinny from a while back. The blur is him. The stuff he goes through is a plastic sheet we have up in between the dining room area and the kitty porch.

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May 29, 2010 · 4:24 pm

Just point and click, right?

I am spending the weekend with multiple cameras in my hand since I am staying with two of my little buddies, Digger and Coco for a couple of days. I absolutely love these two. I have been walking them weekly for two years, so I have had lots of opportunities behind a camera with them. Although I’ve gotten a few photos that I love, I haven’t quite mastered Diggie.

Digger is an challenging photography subject because staying still isn’t in his vocabulary. He is in constant motion. He has more energy that any animal I can think of. One of his favorite things to do after you’ve thrown a toy and he’s fetched it, is to run straight at you and then veer off and run back and forth and back and forth, zooming past you as he’s good and ready to come back to you. Sure, other dogs do things like this, but not like him. He loves getting a toy in his mouth and then whipping his head around. Be careful if you’re near him though because he will hit you and hit you hard. He has bruised my shins and arms with a basketball (definitely bigger than his head…not a problem), a giant really hard stuffed fish, many rope toys, most recently the green loofa dog from the photo, the list continues. One time he shoved the smaller blue ball that’s in one of the shots underneath my legs on the stairs. No biggie right? I was wearing shorts and it was covered in dripping saliva. He’ll also hold onto a toy with the last breath in his little body. You can lift him off of the ground by his teeth, even swing him around and he WILL. NOT. LET. GO. So that sort of energy does not lend itself to sitting still for a photo. Even if he is sitting down, he’s STILL frantically chewing on a toy, which makes a still photo not so much. If dogs were candidates for Ritalin, he could certainly be the spokesdog.

In addition, he really dislikes the camera. It doesn’t matter which one I use (biggest one, big one, point and shoot, or blackberry), he knows what it is and acts accordingly. Lots of animals will turn their head away but they can usually be coaxed back. Not him. He’ll turn his head or even his body and that’s that. Last night he looked very cute sleeping, so I put the camera over him to snap a shot and before I even pressed the button, his eyes were WIDE OPEN. He just knows!

I adore the little maniac and I’m learning a lot from him. Part of the anxiety that comes with photography is missing the shot. With him, it happens almost every time. He’s teaching me to be craftier. To be faster. To take twenty shots because even if I missed the one I wanted, he might do it again, or something even better.

I have collected a couple of photos, actually all taken on my Blackberry, that I liked. I won’t actually know what I have on the D200 and D80 until I get home. Hopefully there will be some shots I really like. This picture of him was taken while scratching his head. He will calmly sit for scratches but the instant you stop, he’ll bolt. So, I pressed the button on the camera and kept scratching until the last second since the camera takes a bit, guessed when to remove my hand, and somehow I got the shot. Yes!

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Here’s an classic example of his response to cameras. I wanted to get a photo of him on the pillows so I took more than one to get it right. This is basically the photo I wanted:

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This is his response:

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Shh. Don’t tell him I took this:

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This last one is a video when I actually caught him on tape doing two of the things I absolutely love:

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May 10, 2010 · 4:45 pm

If not sadness, then what?

I finished watering my garden the other day and went about coiling up the hose. I glanced down and saw a leaf that resembled a fetus or newborn animal. Closer inspection revealed that unfortunately it was a new born bird who’d fallen from its nest. Directly above it was a hole in the side of our house that I’d seen a bird fly into a few days earlier. Devastated, I abandoned my project to attend to the bird. I picked up the tiny body, about two inches long, and placed it on a trowel so that I could look at it up close. Its perfectly formed little body had a tiny little beak and tiny wings that were beginning to sprout the downy feathers that would have covered its entire body during the upcoming weeks. It looked so peaceful, eyes closed, at rest. I was so sad for this little creature. I was just as sad for those it left behind.

I’d noticed one of the parents a few days before flying into the hole. I remember thinking that it was a great place for a nest. It was protected from the elements like the crazy wind that’s been wreaking havoc on our trees. It was hidden away from predators, as the cats in the neighborhood had no chance of getting near it. The mother had sat on her nest, laid an egg and tended to it with her mate close by, waiting to introduce it to the world. The egg hatched, revealing the tiny life.

Then

with the blink of an eye,

it was gone.

What did this mother bird do when she realized her baby had fallen out of her carefully thought out nest? Did she made a sound? Was it quiet? Loud? Drawn out? Did she sit next to her tiny baby? When did she finally accept defeat?

I often think about how animals experience emotion, more specifically how they mourn. We’re told not to attribute human emotions to animals; that they don’t “feel” like we do. Tell that to the dog that risked rush hour traffic to save its friend and dragged it by the collar through the on-coming cars. Or to the cat who tried to bring its mate back to life while people tried in vain to pull him off, viciously attacking their efforts. Or what about the mother in March of the Penguins who cried hysterically over her lost egg and went as far as to try, unsuccessfully, to steal another mother’s egg. Her wailing still haunts me. There are hundreds of examples that have been caught on film by both amateurs and professionals of animals experiencing loss. If not sadness, what are these animals feeling?

I have trouble watching these “mourning” clips that go viral, the Discovery Channel moments that tug at the heartstrings or make me flat out sob. I get sad when I see roadkill, thinking about how lonely the animal must have been during their last moments and who they left behind. These are the thoughts that fill the crevices and jump out at me when I’m feeling my most desolate. I know that animals are not people. That they do not have our cognitive thoughts or our opposable thumbs. But they certainly “feel”. Although anger is different than sadness, it’s still an emotion and to make my point I’m throwing it in here. I often observe my own cats in the throws of jealousy as they brood watching one of the others receives pets and attention. They might not be able to think, “I feel jealous”, but they’re experiencing something and they prove it by smacking the other cat as he saunters by them.

When it comes to loss, perhaps animals are better off not having to experience it exactly like humans do. I certainly wouldn’t wish my sadness on them. But the concept that people project their emotions on animals and that they have none of their own? I’m just not on board with that theory.

I carefully placed the tiny bird in my garden while I dug a hole. I laid it to rest and covered the mound of earth with my birdbath that the parents might visit. And although it probably won’t effect their grief, if they’re even experiencing any, at least it will help ease mine.

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